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July 14th, 2005

10:18 pm - Change of LJ pace...
I'm going to turn my LJ into a dream journal for a while...it'll give me something to post.

I'll be posting past dreams and any recent dreams that I get up here!

Here's my first:

August 25th, 2004 End 6:00 am

Remembering as far back as I can, I simply remember going to see a psychic/healing touch practitioner at this group thing that meets each week. I can't remember her name, but she was young and beautiful. I was there with some friends and I think that Ashley ( a co-worker of mine) was one of them. I realized that I didn't have any of the hand-outs that were given out before the "talk" started. So I went back out of the room, and got some. I knew the people out at the table with all of the pamphlets and papers, and I told them to please give me one of each thing that was available. Well, they didn't give me one of them all, for some reason, and although I noticed this, I didn't say anything. During my time outside of the room, I heard them starting and heard them give the name of the woman lecturing and giving her sorts of information about her. When I went back into the room, I found the woman at the chair I had left. Not sitting there, but standing over it. In a flash I thought she would say..."The person who was sitting here's energy is very interesting..." But instead she looked up from the books and things I had sitting on the seat of my chair and looked at me to say, "Nice birth date!" I said, "Your's is April 15th?" She nodded, and walked away. So, I sat down and was excited to hear all she'd have to say. Well, she showed us a "movie" that was about child rape and the slogan was "No child is really ever alone." It showed children being raped, but they had men's heads and were talking like adults. But the rapists never noticed it. It was really strange. She never gave me the impression that she thought it a horrible thing, nor one she condoned either.

There may be more that happened, but I don't remember it, so I will go to the next thing I do remember.

Somehow, I am in an underground airport like place. And Tiki is either with me or shows up. She says to me, "I have an AMAZING waterfall to show you!" And reluctantly I agree to go, on the count of that she she assured me the "waterfall" was MUCH better than the one I had seen before (which I realize now, is the one at Devil's Punchbowl). We walked down and down, deeper and deeper, when we came to a room where the floor is made out of cement and although it is not, both Blair (who WAS tiki) and I agree that the place looks like a skateboard park. Then we find this other place where people are boarding. It's a long, long tunnel that bends around so you can't see all the way back. Above it is a scoreboard, which is pretty much off. There were a couple of lights that looked like they could have been on, and we even made a comment about the green light. Something like..."One green light is (isn't) even on!" (I don't remember if it was is or isn't, maybe it was both). The “road” that was the bottom of the tunnel had white directional arrows on it that pointed out of the depths of a long tunnel, NOT into it, but toward us standing at the mouth. I though it was strange that they should point that way.

Eventually, we find ourselves at the back of the tunnel where this “waterfall” is supposed to be and there is nothing. Or at least there wasn't for a while, there was a living bag of fruit snacks in a clear bag that looked like it would attack us, so Tiki put it in another bag. I said something to the effect of, “You brought me here for THIS?!?!?!” “There's NO WATERFALL!!” And Tiki said, “No, not really...but there's something better.” She said there is a vortex back there...but don't get close to the edge, you DON'T want to fall in! I went and looked and sure enough, there was this BEAUTIFUL whirlpool/vortex made out of the most beautiful water I had ever seen. I wished I could have seen it without any obstructions.

Then I went back, and Linda was there (a relative of a neighbor of mine)so I told her to go see the vortex too, warning her NOT to get too close to the edge, 'cause she could easily fall in and that would be the end of her. Well, she didn't listen too well, so I went up to keep her from falling in and then decided that “I” wanted to get a closer look too. With both of us right at the edge (I noticed there was a type of marble-like stone around the rim of the hole and there were symbols inscribed into the surface of the “tiles”). We both fell in. Somehow Mandy appears at the last second to try and save us, but alas all three of us fell into the vortex, as I heard Tiki say something like, “I warned you” and “And now it is so/I guess that is what was to happen.” Also something like “That's the end of “Nathan.””

But...it wasn't my death or my end. Mandy and I ended up in a strange world. In a lake/swamp sort of place. Mandy had my mother's red night gown on and I said “Man, am I glad that I chose my *gesturing to my swimming trunks* swimming trunks as the one thing I could bring. As though we had time to choose one item to wear, Mandy looked unsatisfied with her gown. We continued on and I don't remember all that happened, but we were now in a land filled with rules. And the rules came from “Them.” A high council that decided the governing laws of the world and what people can or cannot do. I did not like “Them” at all, whoever “They” were. In fact, I somehow managed to get in trouble with “Them” and found myself in some sort of trial with a woman who was one of “Them.” She said some stuff that I don't remember. I asked a bunch of questions like “Who are you (them)?” etc. And I did something and Mandy next to me said, “I don't think they will like that!”

And that's all I can remember!

Interesting dream...I know....

Leave comments, insights, and/or babbles!!

Current Mood: lazylazy
Current Music: Kirtana(artist) This Embrace(album) Going, Going, Gone(Song)

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July 6th, 2005

07:23 am - Dream
I'm updating...shock...

I had an interesting dream this morning. I'll try and recount it as best as possible.

7-6-05 6:23 a.m. -end-

The farthest I can remember back of the dream that is coherrant is being invited to a sort of event to which, Tiki and a bunch of her friends are going. They want me to talk about butterflies that are within the dead bodies of certain individuals (strange I know). They also want me to demonstrate all of my supposed knowledge and ability at the event. We make our way to the event and it is, as if this is surprising at all, located in a dream location I dream about rather frequently, and once we are there I really have this desire to chant for the opening ceremonies. But it's too late because they've already got Tiki and a bunch of her very "goth-like" friends to sing the opening chant (which is very difficult). Tiki has a (gay) friend with her, that she wanted me to meet SOO badly...because we had had some kind of diluted contact (by dilluted I mean, I had sort of talked to [Marvin? I think that's sort of the nature of this kid's name] through Tiki).

Marvin (I'll refer to him as that from now on, even though I'm not sure if that's his true name from the dream), is a very young, wise soul. He's at times in the body of a fourth grader, and at times not. He is really intruiged by me, and of course I find him VERY interesting cause he's cute, gay, interested in me, AND most importantly, wise beyond his years, and extrememly metaphysical!

After the chanting, my dream moves its perspective out to a "teacher" that is arriving late for the event. He (I think) falls of the thing he used to travel to the event, something like a motorcylce, and pics up his books to hurry off to the large building. He gets there and the "MC," if you will, of the event notices and cuts off one of the "professors" who had started in on the next thing, so that this, VERY Prof. Snape looking-like-man can come up to the podium to talk. He gets up there with 4 or so GIANT volumes, of which he appears to have trouble reading because he is SO out of breath from riding his (OH I JUST REMEMBER, he road his bicycle to the event) bicycle, seeing this one of Tiki's friends offers to read his word for word excerpts from the giant volumes so he doesn't have to. Of course, for whatever reason, the speech is never really given, and the books are never read out of, but the next thing I recall is this professor beginning to talk about me and how much I needed to see the books before my big presentation that EVERYONE was looking forward to, because they had ALL heard SO much about me but had NEVER seen me...blah blah blah. Another one of Tiki's friends (perhaps it was "Marvin") mentioned how I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE those books, and how they are so much like "the process of removing the blue body from a dead person..." Weird, I know.

Due to a lack of memory if anything else significant happened between the next episode, I'm not sure, I'm moving to where I am now giving my presentation.

I get up there and I am now talking about butterflies, and how mystical and metaphysical they are. How they represent directly, the metamorphasis from the mundane to the spiritual realms. -I notice looking back at the dream, that I had somehow taken on a different appearance. I look older, and more active. Excited, and even more happy.- Everyone one is cheering and applauding at my presentation as I deliver it, everyone seems SO stunned by the sheer vastness of my intelligence *rolls eyes.* Soon, I am talking about the caccoon (or crysalis) of the butterfly, how the protective shell manifests around the catepillar to gaurd it as it literally morphs into nothing, into no-thing. Into no-thingness. -I literally said, no dash thingness, LOL!- Of course everyone LOVED this and cheered and roared even more.

Next I recall giving some kind of demonstration that I can't remember exactly. I'll simply leave it at that.

The next episode of this dream I remember, is being with Tiki/Blair (one person) at my Grandparent's old farm house in pierce county just outside of Plum City. "Marvin" is there as well and we are hanging out. But most of our hanging out together involves doing nothing. Much of this part is lost in my subconscious right now, and the next thing I remember is getting mad at Tiki/Blair and "Marvin" for trying to leave the house without me and going fishing. -OH! and before this I had just come out of starting to take a shower (Tiki/Blair too was half-naked), so I just had a towel and not very many clothes on- I went downstairs to try and impress Tiki (just tiki at this moment) and "Marvin" with my almost nude body. Well it didn't work, because they were plotting to leave and were out in the garage. This made me irritated, and I remember seeing a woman walking behind the house to go into the garage where Tiki/Blair and "Marvin" were. I noticed a small white button inside of a red circle plastic bottom that was to control the garage door, which was currently open. I go close to the screen door that leads from the house to the garage and see Pastor John Mikkelson in there talking with Tiki/Blair and "Marvin." I push the button, and then quickly push it again, so that the door moved a few inches (noticibly) and then closed again. They all of course noticed this and I ran off to hide somewhere as pastor came running after me. They made a comment in the garage (Blair rather) that I had flashed a check -of ALL THINGS...LOL!! strange...- at the garage door to cause it to open. No one knew of the alternate garage door opener I had found. As I'm running to hide, of COURSE I can't run well at all. I can hardly make it up the stairs because I'm moving soooo slowly even though I'm trying SOO hard, that and the stairs make a LOT of noise as you are climbing up them. So I give up and retreat to the bottom of the stairs where "Marvin" finds me...Apparently Pastor hadn't come after me. I think this is where I expressed my frustrations, and "Marvin" looked at me with loving eyes and mentioned that he had to leave as his parents were here to pick him up. He took my hand serenely to shake it and tell me how much of a pleasure it was to have finally met me, and he REALLY wanted to see more of me. I responded likewise, but inside was frustrated because I was reacting to the situation and he was all diplomatic and calm. He went out to his car and I had spontaneously developed telekinesis and began messing around with the garage door again, instead of with the garage door opener, with my mind. Then proceeded outside and began closing the open windows and window shutters on the outside of the now CASTLE instead of house...giant giant castle at that. Which had a very very similar look and feel to other dream locations and buildings. "Marvin" had I guess abandoned is parents and was following me in awe of the range of my PK (or TK if you will). I was closing shutters and windows that were hundreds and hundreds of feet above the ground from us. I believe this is where the dream ended.

*phew* That took a while. Just one of the many long long dreams I have daily. I wish I had the discipline to write them down everytime. Let me know what you think when you read this!

Current Mood: okayokay

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June 28th, 2005

01:42 pm - Hmmm...
You scored as Idealist. Idealism centers around the belief that we are moving towards something greater. An odd mix of evolutionist and spiritualist, you see the divine within ourselves, waiting to emerge over time. Many religious traditions express how the divine spirit lost its identity, thus creating our world of turmoil, but in time it will find itself and all things will again become one.


Cultural Creative
















What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

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March 30th, 2005

04:27 pm

N is for Naughty
A is for Astounding
T is for Tolerant
H is for Happy
A is for Articulate
N is for Nice
C is for Caring
H is for Happy
R is for Radiant
I is for Irresistible
S is for Sassy
T is for Trendy
I is for Intelligent
A is for Alluring
N is for Natural
J is for Joyful
A is for Alluring
C is for Crazy
O is for Odd
B is for Bright
S is for Shy
O is for Outgoing
N is for Naughty

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January 14th, 2005

11:24 am
no time to update...sorry...

You Are 26 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

OMG...I can't answer some of these questions very well...I don't watch TV and I'm not a big dessert fan, and I don't drink (alcohol)! Grrr...I did the best I could...
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: The funny noises my mom's computer makes...(it's öld)

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January 3rd, 2005

05:15 pm - What's passed as of late...
Been a wee bit since I did a serious update. Guess you could say a few things have happened. *Checks last journal entry with significant content* AH yes...I'll start here...

I am now at home in WI...and have been since the 22nd. So I've been here nearly a week and a half...good thing I checked cause I almost said 3 weeks. I guess it feels that long...definately! I spent the first two days of being in WI at my Aunt Shelly's house. I house sat for her and it was GREAT because they have a jacuzzi and a sleep number bed, which meant I had 2 wonderful ways to stay relaxed! On Christmas Eve and Christmas day I stayed at home, and then I think I came to my Aunt Rosemary's house to stay on the 27th...I think, either that or it was the 26th and I can't remember which! ^_^ I've been here since that time, and it's been like heaven! Having a WHOLE house to myself and not having to worry about any of those "house-owning" things...like money, heheheh and bills, heheheh! I bought Metriod Prime 2: Echoes and have been playing that like a crazy monkey it's loads of fun ^_^!

Recently I hosted a New Year's party for my closest friends: Tiki, Lea, and Blair (and her BF). I made lots 'o food...and it was tastey! The party didn't go at all like I had planned, well except the dinner, but that's only because everyone of significant pursuasion was hungry or starving, hehehe. It was all fancy lookin', we even put the ketchup in a fancy bowl with a little spoon! Later, everyone helped in some way to clean up the big mess of cooking, and when that was all done we opened our presents! I got a lovely pair of pajama pants from Lea...which I am wearing now. And a really big gift card to Borders from Tiki...w00t! Blair forgot to bring her presents, go figure. Every seemed to enjoy their presents.

Once that was all finished, I decided that I would give a little "lecture" about the Reiki I was planning on offering everyone at the party that night. Since I haven't mentioned what I'm talking about, I'll do that now. I had intended and planned on giving each person at the party a Reiki session to clear out all the blocked energy of the past and to be ready for the new year with a clean slate. I put a lot of energy earlier that day into increasing the vibrations of the room I intended to heal in, and also creating a very sacred space there. I was very happy with what I had accomplished, and the energy was moving very nicely.

Back to the party, I talked a bit about the origins of Reiki, what it is, and what it does. Everyone looked pretty bored, I'm sure they didn't really care about what I was telling them or at least didn't care much. And it seemed they were just being nice to me and listening because I had put on the party and planned on this and what not. But I had this feeling I couldn't ignore. Blair was creating a lot of weird energy that I couldn't quite define. Not to mention her boyfriend was there, and she kept blaming her composition for the vibes she wasn't aware she was emmiting. I knew I wouldn't get to give Blair Reiki...and that bothered me a lot. Normally I don't think this would have bothered me much, but it did that night because I had planned on it, she knew about it, and was "apparently" looking forward to it. *Grrrr* I wasn't as aware or bothered at the time because I knew I would need to be meditating soon and getting ready for the people I was going to work on. But in the back of my head was that feeling Blair was doing all she could to avoid going for Reiki. I also asked Tiki if she would work on me when I was done with everyone because while I can do Reiki on myself with no problems or less effectiveness, it is very nice to have someone else work on you. She said that she wouldn't know what to do, which is exactly what I heard her say when I thought about asking her the day before. I giggled and said, "All you have to do is ask for guidance and you'll know what to do." And that was most certainly the truth, mostly because you can't do anything to harm someone with Reiki, so even if you didn't know what you were doing you would still help. And due to the fact that Reiki is very easy to do and Reiki guides are very easy to hear/feel and their guidance is clear. She agreed to it while attesting that she would do her best. And I was glad to see she would work on me. (Strangly...it all happened as I saw it the day before)

*Side note* Tiki is a lot like me in that...as soon as I start talking about spiritual anything I go into a medium alpha state of consciousness. Already anticipating meditating and automatically shifting brain states to light meditation. *giggles* We all pointed this out to Tiki as soon as her energy began shifting and it was actually quite physically visible too!

SO, I went upstairs and meditated for about 10-15 min. It was a very pleasant meditation, the vibrations in that room had really sky-rocketed *grin*. My mind was fairly quiet, I kept creating scenes of what would be going on later. Soon it became apparent that choices had been made so that they were never what came to be.

I came back down all "zoned" and sat in the living room watching them play DDR for a bit until Lea was ready for her session...she had been decided to go first. I won't give details as those are between Lea and I...but the session went very smoothly, minus Blair interrupting near the end, and I moved Lea's energy around a lot. I just wish I could have been more aware of ways for her to help the changes take place of the course of this year...but I'm lazy and never developed my skills that well...yet.

We went back downstairs after about 40 min. I believe and I found that Blair would rather play video games than have Reiki given to her. Which really pissed me off, and while I maintained meditative awareness...my anger ate away at being able to maintain any compassion and I was hurt. I was disappointed and hurt because she had made it seem as though she truly wanted to experience Reiki, and then she totally threw the opportunity away with the flick of a wrist. I was hurt because I felt that as a friend she ought to experience the facet of my life I hold in deep importance, as I would and have done for her. I was just not happy and my whole party felt ruined because of it. And what made me irrated was that I was not able to step outside of these emotions and rise above my ego....grrr. I did not want to use the energy to not let it ruin my night and make me upset, I was lazy and kept myself in negative emotion. *sigh*

Laterish Blair and Spencer left, and it was just Lea, Tiki, and me. I told them about what I was feeling, and we talked about boys, astrology, and other stuffs...I thought in my head, this is what I really enjoy and would much rather have this than a party any day. Just sitting with any or all of my friends and having conversations with depth, meaning, and of course "head in the gutter" moments that leave everyone either laughing or groaning in remorse...hehehhee! We eventually decided to watch some Anime, even though I really didn't feel like it...but I found interest in what we were watching and did enjoy it muchly.

We discovered that it was 3:30 a.m. and we really should get some sleep. SO we all went up into the guest room and made it slumber party in the same bed, w00t! Which was the first time I had slept with both Tiki and Lea...in the same bed even...hahahaha! It was enjoyable and I was quite comfortable and slept well...I don't think the other two did as well however...heheheh! ^_^

MY HANDS ARE FREEZING................................THIS SUCKS!!

I keep seeing things randomly...a black speck here...a silver glitter there...grrrr! Why did my parents and society have to have a part in shutting my psychic perception??!?!?!?!?!?! It would be much nicer, and the small sense life doesn't make to me, which isn't very much, would make sense!

I'm going to end this entry now, because my hands are so cold I can't stand to type any more. I appologize for all the ...s. They just sort of happen...

Current Mood: coldMy hands are FREEZING!
Current Music: Compy hummin'

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January 2nd, 2005

11:36 pm
You Are a Bright Star Soul
Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles. Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally! Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul

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December 29th, 2004

02:35 am - Odd...
I just woke up from a dream...

I was at my grandmother's who lives very close to my house. We had some type of family gathering there and there were these two guys who came to the house thinking that no one was around and vandalized my car. They bent back the mirrors and bent the liscence plate, and a few other things that seem really minor while awake but were devestating in the dreamscape. We noticed what had happened and I next remember my co-worker Heidi, who later transformed into my uncle John, and I going into her/his car to get out her/his bag of base balls and glove. This way we could throw baseballs at the criminals who had now come back in spite of the whole family now being out near their cars. And now I remember that my uncle was actually over at his car when the two criminals were stealing stuff from it as he and another person were attempting to unload it for whatever reasons. He then got pissed and came over and that's when Heidi sort of became my uncle. Various events took place of no importance...except for the fact that these dumb "car criminals" wouldn't leave, what I think was still my family and I, ALONE! Then for a reason that escapes my logic right now, I decided to go around to the back of my grandparent's house to go in the back door. The skinny of the two criminals, the other was quite large, followed me with a hand gun. I was quite worried about what was going to happen. I couldn't get into the house doors and was walking back toward the edge of the house toward the driveway when the criminal stepped out with a rifle now. I felt a sense of "oh shit," and then I woke up. And before becomming completely conscious, I experienced a common phenomonon within myself. I relived the last few moments of the dream sequence and "dreamt" alternate happenings. One in which I did not become shot. And most of the alternates consisted of me getting into the house which represented the dark world in the game Metroid Prime 2: Echoes.

The strangest thing about this whole ordeal...is that I woke up NOT tired. As if it was 9:00 in the morning...since I had gone to bed around 10:00ish. This to me...just seemed odd. So I got up and found myself here writing about it! ^_^ w00t!

Okay...I think I'm getting tired now...and going to go back to bed. I love sleeping :D ^_^!
Current Mood: groggygroggy

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December 21st, 2004

06:48 pm - Winter Solstice
Man, I think I jinxed myself by saying that I'm hardly ever upset on LJ. And well, I was when I started writing but I was interrupted, and now I feel much better. It never fails...if I talk to a friend when I'm upset, whether I'm the one talking about my problems OR NOT, I always feel much better afterword. Even if I didn't say a thing about what was buggin' me! Friends are great! And I'm glad I've become mature enough to show my friends how much they mean to me.

I've been having all sorts of intense issues this winter solstice, but it seems that this is a pattern in my life. So I think that I should get used to it, quickly. And last year and this year, it has been: Find a boy, fall in love, have trouble (they usually don't feel the same), get really depressed while dealing with it very well, then come New Year's my shifting will have settled down to a managable rate and I'll be much happeir! ( I hope )

I had so much to type in this journal...but I've been conversing with Shevon and Coral...so I don't remember what to type. I guess it was not important right now, so I will end this entry!

Love and Light,

Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Evanesence Songs!

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03:06 am - *giggle*
Thank God for short lived anger!

Hehehe...but I really don't feel like typing all over again...so I'll just try and go to bed, as it wasn't working earlier...

Current Mood: okayokay

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